Post-Divorce Dating Advice: Avoid These 3 Dating Mistakes

Jan/25 By

Post-divorce dating is for individuals who have gone through the life-changing divorce process and came out in one piece. It’s a little complicated because divorcees go through a lot of painful and challenging experiences throughout the process. For some, the recovery period can take years; for others, the healing time can be shorter. There are others who prefer to go back to the social scene to forget all the pain and humiliation (in some cases). However, dating someone just because you want to forget an unpleasant experience is wrong. It’s one of the things you should not do when considering dating after divorce. Here are three more post-divorce dating mistakes you must not do.

 

  1. Deciding to go out on a date because you pity yourself.

This is wrong no matter what angle you look at it from. Using someone to make you feel better about yourself is wrong. It is not proper practice. Do not ever use someone, so you’ll feel good. Go out on a date only because you want to and because you are now ready to move on. First off, though; stop pitying and feeling sorry for yourself. You asked for a divorce and broke up with your boyfriend/girlfriend because you caught him/her cheating. So, why should you pity yourself? Why should you feel bad about the whole thing? Get up and live your life all over again!

 

  1. Don’t expect too much from your date. Don’t expect him/her to be your savior.

Your date is not Superman or Supergirl. He/She cannot fill up the emptiness inside you. When asked what made you decide to finally go out with him/her, do not say, “I felt so empty and alone, so I decided to meet with you. I know you’re fun to be with, so I’m sure I’ll eventually forget this feeling of emptiness inside me!” That is not the proper way to treat a well-meaning date! Don’t expect too much from your date. Just enjoy every moment and let things be.

 

  1. Never ever mention your ex to your date.

This is something that a lot of people find difficult to avoid. It’s not easy, but it has to be done. If you keep talking about your ex, how in the world will you be able to forget him/her? How will you be able to move on? Also, don’t you think talking about your ex to your date is disrespectful? If you keep doing this, your date will eventually get tired (and hurt) and decide to stop seeing you. Or worse, he/she will decide to disappear without saying a word.

3 Tips to Follow If You Want to Become a Better You After a Divorce/BreakUp

Jan/25 By

You’ve just been through the messiest divorce/BreakUp of your life. Your life went into a complete turnaround after you found out your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend cheated on you. After moping around for weeks (or months!), you finally decided it was time to move on and start living again. The problem is you don’t know how or where to start. If you want to socialize again and go out on dates, the first thing that you need to do is create a better, stronger you. Here are three tips that can help you become a better version of yourself after going through the most grueling experience of your life.

  1. Do a complete makeover.

You’ve probably seen a lot of makeovers on TV, so you know what this means. All you have to do is bring yourself to the salon or spa and treat yourself to some beautiful pampering. You need to feel good about yourself, and one of the best ways to do that is to allow some changes to get hold of you. Go for a new haircut. Have a massage, foot spa, facial spa, and get your nails painted. You may even have your hair colored if you want! After a trip to the spa, head on over to your favorite boutique or department store and buy new sets of clothes. Your makeover deserves a fashionable treat!

  1. Change your attitude.

The first thing you need to change is how you look at yourself. Stop pitying yourself and start loving yourself more. Make yourself feel special. Tell yourself how important you are – to your family and friends. Lastly, bring back your self-confidence. Only when you believe in yourself again will people start to believe in you, too.

  1. Make a plan and set goals.

You cannot teach yourself to change if you do not know what you want to happen. Therefore, you need to set a goal or some goals and then draw up a plan on how to achieve them. For example, if you want to change careers, what kind of job are you planning to look for? How are you going to achieve this? Will you be going back to school? Or, if you want to start dating again, how do you plan to carry this out? Will you be joining online dating sites? Or will you rely on friends’ suggestions? These questions will help you determine what you really want to happen and how this can happen. They give you a purpose, a reason for living again.

Dating After Divorce or A BreakUp? Here are 3 Things You Should Keep in Mind Before Going Out

Jan/25 By

Some people waste no time after a divorce or a breakup; they immediately jump back on the dating bandwagon. For many, however, going back to the dating and socializing circle is not easy as they just went through an extremely painful experience. If you’ve been single for quite some time and have been contemplating on going out and dating again, be aware that there are things you need to consider first.

 

  1. The first thing you need to learn to do: don’t expect too much.

In other words, your expectations should be realistic. For example, since you’re just getting back on the scene, don’t expect to get into a serious relationship with someone immediately. Just go with the flow. Meet as many people as you can. Enjoy and have fun. The time will eventually come when you’re ready to get serious again. In the meantime, relax and let go. This will help you forget about all the painful experiences you went through.

 

  1. Learn to feel good about yourself. Love yourself more.

Now that you have established your expectations, it’s time to focus on yourself. For people to notice you; for people to appreciate you, you need to feel good about yourself. You need to learn to love yourself more. So if you’re feeling like the most unlucky person in the world; shut off that thought and start thinking of the good things in your life. This will help make you feel good. Think of the people you love who are still around, supporting and loving you. This will make you realize your worth as a person. Loving yourself will then follow.

 

  1. Jump in only when you are ready.

Your reason for going back to the dating circle should be because you are ready to move on and start a new life. It should not be because you want to show your ex how happy you are or that you can still attract the opposite sex despite what happened to you. In other words, do not go out and date someone on the rebound. This will be unfair to the other person, and it will not be healthy for you. Date only after you have given yourself time to deal with your emotions, to relax, breathe deeply, and slowly let go of what was.

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